We’ve all heard the heart-breaking stories or seen those poor women on Oprah, the ones who find out their husband has three other wives or stole all their money. We may wonder how they could be so stupid and think that would never happen to us. And yet the men look so normal and as these women their stories, you can kinda see how it happened. They were involved with sociopaths – people with no conscience and no remorse.
So ladies, how do we protect ourselves from the Ted Bundys of the world? Okay maybe they aren’t serial killers but they may rob us and cheat on us. Donna Anderson wrote a book about the topic called Love Fraud: How Marriage to a Sociopath Fulfilled My Spiritual Plan.
Although she was only married to him for two years, her husband managed to cheat with at least six other women, fathered a child with one of them and stole $250,000 from her. Donna has also launched a website at lovefraud.com to help other women avoid her hard lessons.
Here is her list of warning signs that you may be involved with a sociopath.
1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.
2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.
5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.
7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.
8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.
10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.